Over the weekend, I attended a sex party while being in a monogamous relationship, and you know what? Now, I have even more questions for people who don’t go to sex parties because they are in monogamous relationships.

I’ll share everything now. It will be a two-part long read — one about my experience and another specifically about the party itself.

What kind of party was it?

It was Sensual Saturday, a party at a secluded villa in Ericeira with 50+ people in the stunning location beneath Ericeira. I have few photos because, once the inside became beautifully lit with music playing and guests arriving, I refrained from taking pictures to respect everyone’s privacy.

However, here are a few photos to give you an idea of the format and style of the event:

The party comprised three parts:

Welcome and dinner
Practices and performances: BDSM, massage, body art
Free flow part + sleepover for those who booked a room

At the beginning of the party, there were non-alcoholic welcome drinks, snacks, and an opening from the organizer outlining the party rules. Then came the icebreaker activities — a circle where everyone introduced themselves and shared their kinks, followed by several touch-based practices with closed eyes. This helped to get a sense of the people at the party, creating an immediate sense of calm and comfort.

I appreciated that Shame LESS Society is a multicultural community. Approximately 40% were Russian speakers, 30% Portuguese, and 30% from various European backgrounds, either living in Portugal or specifically attending the event. The age range was quite diverse, averaging between 25 and 40. Conversations took place either in English or in groups using Portuguese, French, German, or Russian. Most attendees were open to meeting new people, but there were both open and closed couples.

Next was dinner — I never thought about combining dinner and a sex party. However, food proved to be an excellent way to connect and ease tension around the theme of sex. You stop seeing others solely through their kinky personas and witness simple human things, like someone enjoying noodles.

The dinner itself was beyond praise, featuring superb phở, hummus with toasts, and caramelized carrots. The woman overseeing the kitchen wasn’t just cooking; she was making love to food. The flavor combinations were meticulously crafted and unfolded in an extraordinary way. Considering how much of a food snob I usually am, this experience was truly exceptional.

After dinner, the practice session began, and we quickly noticed a master who was leading a BDSM workshop, so we headed straight to him.

Meet Luka from the Netherlands, who specifically traveled to Portugal for the event. He holds a Ph.D. in biological sciences, and kink is a subject of personal study for him. My girlfriend had questions about safe BDSM sex, as she had no experience and didn’t understand how to properly spank, restrain, or engage in breath play during BDSM sex. Luka answered all her questions in great detail, demonstrating muscle mechanics, safe areas for spanking, and proper neck restraint for breath play.

Despite my knowledge of BDSM, Luka remarkably delved into the integration of BDSM practices into casual sex. He showcased techniques for quick restraint, how to gauge a partner’s mood, lead a play, and use dirty talk.

Master rating: 10 out of 10. We exchanged contacts, and now we’re considering a private session with him.

We arrived around 4 PM, and it’s a unique charm when the party starts in the afternoon. The party itself went on until 2 AM, but we left at 10 PM because we couldn’t wait to be alone in bed, given the intense atmosphere.

The biggest compliment for this party came from my girlfriend, who was attending this kind of party for the first time. Her first question to me was, “Are we going to the Sensual Soirée in February?”

I don't know what happened after 10 PM; my followers were at the party, so feel free to share in the comments. But I assume there were more heated interactions than just kisses and caresses.

What was the party like?

It resembled a hedonistic retreat or a private gathering where everyone gathered with one goal — to experience immense pleasure.

Some came only for the party, some stayed overnight, booking a room to wake up to a beautiful view and jump into the pool before breakfast.

People expressed their hedonism differently — some in new connections and sensual experiences with new people, some, like us, in connection with their partners, and others manifested a couple sexual vibe. Some simply flaunted their outfits and sexuality without interacting with anyone.

The party became a safe space for me, allowing me to share my world with my girlfriend and express myself in my familiar sexy outfits.

What did we as a monogamous couple do at the party?

Initially, we mingled and chatted with my acquaintances, as the Russian-speaking kink community in Lisbon is quite small, and most people know each other in some way.

Interestingly, my former Brazilian boyfriend was also at the party. We managed to maintain a friendly relationship after an uncomfortable breakup, which, for me, is always an indicator of overall maturity when people can continue to communicate and be part of the same community after parting ways.

Next, my girlfriend and I played the HOT or NOT game, discussing people around us and fantasizing about them. It was a great opportunity to align our tastes and talk about fantasies. It turned out we had similar preferences, and engaging in this conversation heightened our shared horny mood.

During the communal circle, where there were activities for getting to know other people. We didn’t participate but played and kissed each other. After the practices, we went our separate ways. I engaged in work-related discussions with the party organizer, while my girlfriend met people we both found interesting.

At dinner, we met a few more people, but the allure faded, and once again, we realized that we are one of those annoying couples focused on each other, touching, kissing, and living in our own world.

We waited for the BDSM masterclass, and my girlfriend asked all her questions to the master, who turned out to be so attractive that we wanted to head home quickly to have sex in our comfortable bed without prying eyes. All the knowledge gained from the masterclass was immediately put into practice, and it was very hot.

I realized that I attend sex parties not to have sex there or to meet new people but to unleash and manifest my sexuality.

I love dressing up and choosing very revealing and sexy outfits. I love coming to a party and feeling the attention from others. I love feeling sexy and not being afraid to be slutty, knowing that those around me won’t perceive it as an invitation to action, and my personal boundaries won't be violated.

Did I enjoy our experiment?

Absolutely! Will we attend more sex parties? Oh yes, I’m very turned on by our dynamic as a couple. I like how we look together, the images we create, and how we play. I anticipate many more interesting things we can try together within the framework of sex parties, and yes, monogamous relationships, in this regard, didn’t become any kind of limitation for me, emphasizing that the format is not as important as what you feel and want from each other as a couple.

And yes, my half-dead libido showed signs of life! I think it’s all about the preparation. However mundane it may sound, adults living under significant stress need to plan time for sex.

The Sensual Work & Play Event became a space where I could bring everything together. I put on a stunning outfit, wore my makeup, got a good night’s sleep, caught playful glances, flirted to my heart’s content, and charged myself with emotions from other people. All of this added a dose of sexual drive, and my arousal pleasantly tingled. We ended up having super-engaging and fantastic sex with my partner.

For me, parties are definitely the ”accelerator” in sexual arousal. ⚡️

P. S.: Today, my girlfriend gave me detailed feedback on the event. She said that I managed to create a safe and gentle introduction to the sex-positive world for her, which didn’t scare her off. Considering that she's a “muggle” (as I jokingly call people not from the sex-positive world), it seems my playfulness worked.

To ensure everything went smoothly, I did the following:

Accompanied her for the first hour of the party so she could get acquainted with the space and new people together with me.
During group activities, I spent time with her instead of other people.
Took her home from the party at the moment when we had already experienced a lot of new things but hadn't reached an “emotion overdose” yet.
Planned time just for us the next day, where we lounged in bed, chatted, enjoyed snacks, and discussed our experiences.

Now the main question! To which department of sex-positive magic and wizardry will the sorting hat send her? 😅

Copied and translated from her official telegram channel.

About Masha

Meet Masha Chesnokova, a friend of the Shame LESS Society and a dynamic voice in the realm of sexuality and relationships. With a captivating blend of insight, wit, and authenticity, Chesnokova fearlessly dives into the complexities of human connection. Based in Lisbon, her blog is a sanctuary where taboo topics are tackled with refreshing candor and empathy.

As a seasoned sex educator and therapist-in-training, Chesnokova offers invaluable insights into desire, intimacy, and sexual psychology, drawing from personal experience and rigorous study.

Chesnokova fearlessly tests and reviews a variety of sex toys, providing honest and insightful guidance for her audience's sexual exploration.

Masha Chesnokova: A Sensual Saturday